Jinxed Universe

Does anyone realize the difference between helping someone and doing something for someone? I think the lines between these two get muddied way too often.

When someone is having difficult time doing their Math homework, and ask for help. We don't DO the homework for them, but we walk them through the steps, we try and explain the concept in different manner. But, in the end we don't physically DO their homework.

I have a load of Scouts/Deacons that I work with on at least a weekly basis. I have grown very close to them. But, one thing that I will not do is to do something for them, that they need to do. I currently am the Camping merit badge councilor. Now, they all know me and they all could easily get this merit badge if they would meet with me, but as of yet, I haven't had any takers. Now, could I just say that for Scouts one evening we are going to work on the Camping merit badge and start passing them off? Yes! Yes I could. But, the reason I don't is because they need to get use to calling councilors themselves and working with them. Since I know them very well, they all shouldn't have a problem in doing this with me. So, once they see that calling me up and working on the merit badge isn't a big deal, then they will be able to stretch a little more and advance to calling up a stranger and working with him on a different badge.

You see there is an experience that I would be robbing them, by doing this myself. This is part of growing up, this is part of scouting.

One day, I sat besides someone that I know very little of. But, as our class went on, I began to notice that she was writing a ton. As I began to observe what it was she was writing, I noticed she was doing her child's homework. On the front page was stapled a note saying the the attached worksheets needed to be done in order for her child to pass Math class. Then I began to watch this mother proceed to do the homework.

I was blown away!!! I couldn't believe my eyes. This mother was actually doing her child's homework. Now, some may say, "Oh well you don't know the situation, maybe her child isn't that smart at Math." Others may say, "Maybe they were in a jam and ran out of time so the mother was 'helping'." With school being how it is, I know that this child was fully capable of being in that class. Otherwise they would have put it in a lower level class. We can tell from the note that this child also wasn't doing very well at doing their homework, otherwise they wouldn't be under the gun like this.

No, this was a simple excuse case. "My teacher doesn't like me," or "Math is too hard," or even "I don't understand this and I need your HELP!" Anyway you cut this, it all comes down to the mother DOING her child's homework, rather than sitting down and HELPING her do her homework.

Now, remember teachers give us homework to practice concepts in preparation for a test or quiz. Then once we have mastered it, we can use these concepts in our lives and even use them to make money for ourselves. But, if our mothers, fathers, government, or anyone is there to DO things for us, rather then HELP us, we are being robbed of some experience, many times valuable ones that we shouldn't be without.

Now, because this child hadn't practiced these math principles, and when it comes down to brass tacks and she is tested on it. I guarantee that she failed. Why? Because it is the mother that is learning the concepts, not the child.

The only poem that I have ever heard that doesn't induce vomiting was written by Douglas Malloch and goes like this:

Good Timber

The tree that never had to fight
For sun and sky and air and light,
But stood out in the open plain
And always got its share of rain,
Never became a forest king
But lived and died a scrubby thing.

The man who never had to toil
To gain and farm his patch of soil,
Who never had to win his share
Of sun and sky and light and air,
Never became a manly man
But lived and died as he began.

Good timber does not grow with ease:
The stronger wind, the stronger trees;
The further sky, the greater length;
The more the storm, the more the strength.
By sun and cold, by rain and snow,
In trees and men good timbers grow.

Where thickest lies the forest growth,
We find the patriarchs of both.
And they hold counsel with the stars
Whose broken branches show the scars
Of many winds and much of strife.
This is the common law of life.

There is so much truth to these principles. We are all put here on this Earth with talents and short comings. But, it is what we do with these both that makes us who we are.

While at Scout Camp this summer we were told of a boy that had some physical limitation. But, he was bound and determined to get his Swimming merit badge. One of the requirements was for him to pass the BSA swim check. He practiced and tried all week long. Twice his leaders thought he had done it, and twice he came up saying he touched the ground and needed to start over. Finally at the end of the week, as they were preparing to close the waterfront, he tried one last time. It was this time he was able to pull through. He had finally completed his swim check.

Now this boy should be proud of what he has done. It took him a while to be able to accomplish this, but he pushed along and kept to it and it has made him a better person because of it. He showed he has more grit than most boys.

My favorite stanza is this:

The man who never had to toil
To gain and farm his patch of soil,
Who never had to win his share
Of sun and sky and light and air,
Never became a manly man
But lived and died as he began.

This physically challenged boy could have confined himself to a wheelchair and moped around the camp all week long. He probably could have gotten away with pulling the handicap card and got the merit badge without all the work. But, he didn't.

I don't DO anything for my scouts. I am always there ready to HELP my scouts with anything, but I refuse to DO anything for them. I want everyone of them to become manly men, cause heaven knows there is a great shortage of them in this world. I was taught in a Scout training this quote, "Don't do for a Scout, what he can do for himself." I have stood by that saying because there is a purpose in having these boys become self reliant.

I have seen men that act like boys and boys that act like men. It isn't a physical change that defines a man from a boy, but an inner change that comes over the male sex at some time in their life. It is through growing, overcoming obstacles, and becoming self reliant and responsible for themselves and others that a boy becomes a man.